[Breakfast: toasted croissant with jam and butter]

Part 1 Part 3

We waited for our main course. I was going to try the bernaise sauce, but decided to see what side sauce or rub ($1 each) our waitress would suggest. She had recommended the cabernet for both of us and also sternly advised my boyfriend not to order his steak with stuffed shrimp above medium-rare. He always orders meat medium.

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes!" The waitress promised.

"Can we also get some more rolls?"

"No problem."

Boa was the type of place that gave you one roll. I don’t eat much bread outside of nice restaurants. As we waited for our rolls, (5 then 10 minutes went by) boyfriend marveled at how Married Man was trying to impress Dining Companion with how many e-mails he was getting on his Blackberry. Earth to married loser: Blackberries a.k.a. Crackberries aren’t exactly new. My younger brother even has one. Apparently Married Man thought that Dining Companion was impressed, because he even went through all the functions. Dining Companion lost interest, so he went back to flirting with the waitress. Married Man was also on a first name basis with her.

"Monica!" he yelled, pointing at his half full glass "I need more soda with my vodka!"

Boyfriend caught a busboy’s attention so he could finally get some more bread while I checked out Dining Companion’s outfit: an old black turtleneck, jeans and shiny black heels that looked like Gucci knockoffs. I was confused. She was giving Married Man mixed messages with those fuck-me-tie-me-up-tie-me-down-spank-me stilettos.

20 minutes later seemed to be the theme of the night. Our meals arrived, and I almost laughed when I noticed that my boyfriend’s meal had come with sauce on it already (not cabernet) plus the cabernet side sauce the waitress had suggested. And surprise, surprise…the steak would’ve been fine medium. It was more rare than my filet mignon, which did not make my boyfriend happy. And the "stuffed shrimp" consisted of two fried prawns plopped into a halfway sliced through bloody steak. My dinner was fine, though the sauce was too salty—another chronic problem with most restaurants.

I dug into the Boa chop-chop salad, which we had requested with dinner. (It was a miracle that our waitress was able to wrap this concept around her head. Also, the way she said chop-chop way too perkily made me want to slap her.) I almost brought my napkin to my mouth. Something was very gross in the salad. Boyfriend swore it was the green olives and didn't mind it much. (After a couple more bites, he had had enough, too!) We ordered a side of grilled asparagus to replace the nasty salad (FYI: BOA's ‘grilled’ equals ‘burned’) since the only "extra" the meat came with was a whole clove of garlic.

TBC with the most scandalous details...