Memo to JessicaPart of: Gossip , Jessica Simpson
Top Ten Ways Jessica Simpson can Remain Interesting in 2006
1. Announce that your marriage to Nick was just a publicity stunt to boost your career and get an MTV show
2. Do a nude pictorial in Playboy
3. Trash hotel rooms with your new European billionaire boyfriend (preferrably royalty)
4. Become a lesbian (but only for 6 weeks – you know, a girl’s gotta experiment)
5. Accidentally ‘misplace’ a XXX video of you having a threesome with new European billionaire boyfriend and lesbian lover and then release it as a DVD through a shell company.
6. Get more plastic surgery (maybe cheek implants to go with the lips)
7. Date Jared Leto
8. Get arrested for drunk driving
9. Check into a drug rehab clinic
10. Get back with Nick after realizing that despite your marriage being a sham, you really did love him. Stay with Nick for at least three more years, then repeat cycle (except next time round, do a pictorial in Hustler).