I always get readers asking me how I stay so svelte. Well, the best way to get over post-holiday bloat is to go somewhere like Hugo's in West Hollywood for brunch (really linner) at 2:45 after you've just caught a gander at the line at Toast on 3rd St. and realized that the line is the longest you've ever seen. (BTW: The only way to go there and not wait forever on the weekend, is to go after 4 pm or before 9:00 am.) Once at Hugo's, order the Chipotle Scramble and make sure that you add some Tapatio hot sauce for good measure. And you can't forget to have their great Mimosa that's really equivalent to 2 1/2 glasses since you get a split of champagne. Be sure to end your meal with their fabulous Matcha latte with rice milk. Then go see "Brokeback Mountain" at the ArcLight and get a bad stomachache. Perhaps you were just trying not to cry again since last night you had watched "The Interpreter" and had an unexpected meltdown. However, the stomache just gets worse until you get home and dive into bed. Now it will go away, you pray. But not only does it not go away, but it gets way worse until you realized that you have the worst case of food poisoning ever. You cannot believe that you would actually go to the emergency room if you weren't positive that if you had to wait more than 15 minutes to be seen that you wouldn't be able to make it. You are sure that your position in bed with the heating pad on high and with the cat and your beloved snuggled against you is the only thing keeping you from going insane from the pain. It feels like your intestines are on fire and nothing is helping. This goes on and on. Finally at around 3 am, you fall asleep. The morning comes and you do not feel like death, but you are not in a good place. But at least you lost weight.

That's when you start your detox diet.

Breakfast

half of an egg bagel toasted (dry)

Mid-Morning Snack

a piece of rye bread toasted (dry)

Lunch

fresh squeezed apple juice
matza ball soup (with little salt)
3 packs of Zesta crackers from Blue Plate

Dinner

bowl of quinoa/millet with steamed veggies, mashed potatoes (dairy-free) and tempeh with tahini dressing from Real Food Daily.

Late Night Snack

Hot chocolate with 2 large marshmallows