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« November 2003 | Home | January 2004 »

Deep Thoughts (by Tiffany not Jack Handy)

December 30, 2003
Part of: Random

If you find out one day that your two carat wedding ring is cubic zirconica, you should have your marriage annulled. Random Thought: What if all the women with down coats gave them to homeless people? This trend is heinous....[More]

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This Holiday Season’s _ of Choice:

December 25, 2003
Part of: Food , Hollywood , Random , Television

Second Edit* Posting will be light through Jan 5th Be Happy and Merry--Thanks everyone for reading me, and hope you all are having a nice holiday. I know that's impossible, but at least have a good one in your dreams....[More]

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Best of Tiffany's"Sex Tips Du Jour"

December 24, 2003
Part of: Trick Or Treat

*Dove Dark chocolate foil says: 'Sleep late, dream more.' Tiffany adds, "Sleep late, dream more, have more sex.." *Nice/clean underwear is a turn-on *It takes women 20-40 minutes to get fully turned-on. This means foreplay, foreplay and more Foreplay. *Do...[More]

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Tiffany's "Page Six"

December 21, 2003
Part of: Gossip

A handsome star is being a big baby about his first season show being cancelled. In retribution he is keeping thousands of dollars worth of custom made clothes and shoes. Guess who will be getting it docked from his last...[More]

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Apocalypse Now

December 21, 2003
Part of: Politics

* This is a May entry from my old blog, but it's time appropriate. I am going to a screening of Elf, so if I die in the next few hours, I will die laughing. [*Edit--I made it through Elf,...[More]

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Word of the Ass

December 20, 2003
Part of: Fashion , Literati , Random

The first two people who PM me, will get the free journalspace pro-access coupons. If you can come up with a cool word I haven't heard of--you will win both of the coupons. (: Thank you, Keifel for graciously giving...[More]

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Do You Hate Your Boss?

December 19, 2003
Part of: Rant

Go shopping at the dollar or 99 cent store for their holiday gift. I've heard of at least two people who've already done it. In other news: My computer has gone crazy. The screen is turquoise and hot pink. WTF?...[More]

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Why Allen Ginsburg was Jealous of Me--I Swear!

December 18, 2003
Part of: Literati , Seinfeld-esque

* I apologize for my lack of editing on this piece. I wanted to get it up today,like I promised. I've said before that my pieces here are not perfectly edited. I already spend too much time editing my non-blog...[More]

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Updates

December 16, 2003
Part of: Random

1. I called Arrowhead's consumer affairs number twice yesterday to no avail. Today a woman answered and informed me that Arrowhead spring water still exists. It was not replaced by Arrowhead drinking water with minerals (potassium, calcium, magnesium and sodium)...[More]

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You've Got Mail

December 16, 2003
Part of: LA , Literati

Tiffany, Enjoyed browsing your journal. It is obvious you are a talented writer. It sounds like you get a fair amount of time in hanging out with (or at the peripheries of) the beautiful people. I am fascinated by the...[More]

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The World Goes on

December 15, 2003
Part of: Rant

I’ve had a difficult past two weeks. This bad period ended with me getting rear-ended on Third St. near Robertson on Friday. There was no reason why this should’ve happened. The 21 year-old who hit me was probably on his...[More]

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The Stone Report vs. The Shaw Report

December 14, 2003
Part of: Random

IN: Black Martinis OUT: Chocolate Martinis IN: Charity Work OUT: Anti-Depressants IN: Women’s Only Gym OUT: Unisex Gyms IN: Weblogs OUT: Journal Books IN: The Dancer Look OUT: The Slutty Look IN: The TV show Arrested Development OUT: The band...[More]

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How to Look Like a Classy Version of Paris Hilton

December 12, 2003
Part of: Fashion , Paris Hilton , Scarlett Johansson

When photographed, don’t strike a pose or make out with your honey. Act goofy or naturally, and the camera will love you. Striking a pose like you’re on the red carpet makes you look like a wanna-be. Save kissy-face shots...[More]

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Guys and my Blog

December 12, 2003
Part of: Random

From the very beginning I have stated that I will not write about my love life here. I occasionally will call someone I am dating a friend. I hope that recent date (Room 5) isn't offended. I feel uncomfortale writing...[More]

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Dreams of Keying a Car

December 11, 2003
Part of: LA

As soon as I got to my car this morning, someone was on top of me. I held up my hand to indicate I was going to be five minutes. I hate when people spend a year getting ready to...[More]

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Hunky Santa

December 11, 2003
Part of: LA

No, this isn't some pipe dream. At Beverly Center in Los Angeles (which I've previously posted about here) Thursday-Sunday from 7pm-10pm there is Hunky Santa “Sugar Plum” who the guest services woman informed me “is as cute as can be.”...[More]

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The Witch from American Rag

December 09, 2003
Part of: LA

Last night I was waiting for a friend at Room 5, the bar on La Brea above (?) where Farfalla used to be. The bar was crowded, and I figured someone was having a birthday or holiday party. Everyone was...[More]

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A Slice of my Life

December 07, 2003
Part of: LA

“Tiff, you’re really short. I’ve never noticed you were this short,” said my oldest friend, C. We’ve known each other since we were three-years-old. “How short are you?” C continued. “Fuck you very much. I cried the day my doctor...[More]

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Liquid Kitty

December 07, 2003
Part of: Food , LA

I had my first martini when I was 20 (I had a real fake ID) at Liquid Kitty in West LA, when it was still legal to smoke in bars. (Liquid Kitty still exists. The only bar marker is a...[More]

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An Almost Hollywood Party

December 05, 2003
Part of: Cameron Diaz , Hollywood , LA

My actress friend, Kate, called me the other day, overly excited. “I have a Sundance party for us to go to Saturday night. Isn’t that great? “ I didn’t want to be a downer, but it was a post-post- Sundance...[More]

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Hand in the Golden Cookie Jar

December 04, 2003
Part of: Hollywood , Literati , Television

Last night on my guilty pleasure show “O.C.” rich to rags Marissa stole an expensive watch, among other items. She wanted to tag along with boyfriend Ryan to The South Coast Plaza, a chi-chi mall. The way The South Coast...[More]

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Sleazorama

December 04, 2003
Part of: Literati

From today's Page Six: INSIDE SALINGER'S OWN WORLD A FORMER staffer at Harold Ober Associates, which represents reclusive literary legend J.D. Salinger, is peddling a memoir that lifts the lid off Salinger's secretive life. The juiciest bits of Jaime Clarke's...[More]

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Hipster Balloon

December 02, 2003
Part of: Hollywood , LA

My hipster balloon was popped yesterday. I went to my local “artsy” video store to rent two movies. I had called my movie in, so I went straight to checkout. I was in an okay mood and decided to be...[More]

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