A clerk at my local "artsy" video store said, “Tiffany sounds like a James Bond girl.” Most unoriginal men have said it sounded like a porn star's name.

When I told "artsy" clerk that, he gave me a sly look, "Well, James Bond girl isn't exactly classy."

Now I know why he doesn't have a girlfriend.

In other news, in the most recent issue of “The New Yorker,” David Sedaris makes fun of my name in his hilarious story, “The Girl Next Door.” The recollection is about a disturbed nine-year-old girl who is obsessed with (gay) David and makes his life a living hell.
‘
Oh, they’re the worst,” my mother said. ‘What’s her name?’ I made something up. ‘Brandi? Well that’s cheap, isn’t it?’

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘But aren’t I talking to someone who named her daughter Tiffany?’

David Sedaris was the last person I thought would make fun of my name. Sedaris is one of my favorite writers. I think he owes me a lunch date because of his trash talking mouth. And ideas on what I should ask him?