I Want to Ruin My Love LifePart of: Seinfeld-esque
Breakfast: Rice Crispy Treat
My dad recently went to a conference where Ben Stein was one of the speakers. He let me borrow Ben Stein’s
“How to Ruin Your Life” and “How to Ruin Your Love Life.” I figured I could read both of them in an hour.
“How to Ruin Your Love Life” gave me some good ideas:
#14 Remember That Your Lover is Also Your Assistant, Lawyer, Placement Officer, Apartment Finder and Loan Broker.
Life would be so much easier if I could find a boyfriend who could take care of all that boring life stuff.
#7 Demand Expensive Gifts from Your Lover
I’ve never tried demanding even inexpensive gifts from a lover—imagine dragging your lover into Tiffany’s or Cartier and showing him all the jewelry he must buy you. I need to act like the true princess I am.
#11 Talk about Yourself Exclusively
I’ve met a lot of people who love to talk about themselves. I should try making my next lover MY therapist.
#17 Make Fun of Your Lover’s Family
I’ve never tried this before. It sounds like a lot of fun. Maybe I could even make up flashcards with different characteristics and make my lover figure out who it is.
#37 Pretend to be Someone You’re Not
I can practice acting without paying for class.