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Mind the Gap

Part of: Seinfeld-esque

[Breakfast: a lemon poppy seed scone]

I am very particular about where I sit in restaurants. DK and I tend to be more spur-of-the-moment kind of people, so we can’t always get prime seats. Friday night, at our favorite Italian restaurant, we had the choice of sitting near the bathrooms or in-between two couples. I don’t like sitting in-between people when there’s no room, because I don’t like it when people are able to hear my conversation and I can’t take the piss out of theirs without being tres obvious. However, I hate sitting near the bathrooms more. Sandwiched between two boring couples, DK and I chatted about Star Wars for ages. DK was ripping it apart way better than I ever could because he’s a huge Star Wars fan. And he was not happy.

"So the reason Natalie Portman dies is that she’s got ‘nothing to live for…’ What the fuck, bitch? You just had two kids and you have nothing to live for? Get real. She can live fucking long enough to name the damn kids--she’d obviously thought long and hard about that. Did you know that Shit is an anagram for Sith? It’s vapid bullshit."

I laughed.

The woman next to us looked up, "How dainty."

"Pardon?" DK asked.

"I was referring to the use of your language."

"Oh, I hope I didn’t spoil the movie for you!"

The woman gave DK an evil look. Seconds later she was back to stuffing her face with cake.

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