Breakfast At Tiffany's




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The Tree Trimmer

Part of: Seinfeld-esque , Trick Or Treat

[Breakfast: a cappuccino chip muffin]

I was waiting for my friend after her comedy show the other night. Because I was bored, I decided to make small talk with a twentysomething guy, Joe, who was cleaning up the theatre.

“Is this yours?” Joe asked holding up a large glass bottle of sparkling water.

“No, is that Italian water?” I said not believing someone would leave a full bottle behind.

Joe looked at the label. “It’s from France.”

“Can you believe that so many people left behind their trash here? I mean, do you ever do that in regular movie theatres?”

We were in a tiny theatre about the size of a small screening room.

“I always eat at home to save money...”

“Right, but don’t you ever sneak something in?”

“No, theatre food and drinks are too expensive,” Joe said.

“Yes, but you can go buy some candy at Rite Aide or something and put it in your pocket.”

Joe wasn't fazed,“I never eat or drink in theatres.”

I wasn’t getting very far and my friend was taking forever.

“So, do you like living in San Diego?”

“I moved here for a job.”

“What do you do?” I asked.

“I’m a tree trimmer—it’s not that great.”

I didn’t know that tree trimming companies flew people out for low-paying jobs.

“But you get to work by yourself, right?”

“No. I knock on people’s doors and ask them if I can trim their trees.”

“So you do sales, too.”

“No, I am not a salesman.”

Twenty questions were over.

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