Where the Wild Things Are (in Mexico)—Part 2Part of: Travel
DK and I finished some refreshing sorbet (lime and raspberry) that a nice waiter had brought around on a tray for the handful of couples and loud child animals that were lounging on the beach. This was the life. (Later in the day they’d bring us a snack of spicy crackers.) We decided to take a walk on the beach to the pier. I had a nice buzz from the 2 piña coladas that I’d ingested in the last hour*. Just before the pier, a skanky blonde and a man resembling Bob Einstein (it wasn’t him because I was around Einstein for a long time at a small party a few years back. Random fact: Einstein’s wife used to work at Tiffany and Co.—how cool is that?) passed by us. The man was asking the skank very peripheral questions—odd since they had just come from a huge yacht. "That was totally a hooker," said DK when they were barely out of earshot. I turned around and noticed that the skank was wearing a thong bikini bottom. "Yeah, you’re right," I said, musing over the fact that a thong bikini was very hard to pull off without seeming slutty unless you’re Helen Hunt. It was much easier to get away with lying out topless.
Later in the day, DK and I settled in at the hotel’s poolside restaurant to have some Coco Loco’s—a mixture of tequila, rum and brandy inside of a coconut. In fact, our waiter shimmied up a palm tree to get us two fresh coconuts and spent the next fifteen minutes hacking them up for us—now that’s good service. While waiting, we had a view of three fat old American men hanging out with hookers—they were from the yacht, too. The girls were splashing the men, and in return they were sinking in the infinity pool from all of their fat. I was definitely going to need another Coco Loco. Usually I liked watching this kind of train wreck. I decided to grab my stuff from our beach chairs so that we could go back to our room. On the way back, I had to walk by the spectacle and unfortunately couldn’t help from stealing a glance. "Hey, sweetie," said the skanky thong girl. "Do you and your boyfriend want to join us?" I felt my face getting bright red. "Uh, no thank you…we’re uh…" I took off running with my Coco Loco sloshing everywhere. When I got back to the room I jumped into my favorite womb--like object: a hammock, and grabbed my book to briefly enter another world.
*Walking for exercise is a lot more fun with a buzz. A glass of wine pre-walk is the best—stay away from hard alcohol.