The Lobster and Miss Hollywood AssistantPart of: Food , Hollywood , LA , Rant , Seinfeld-esque
DK and I went to The Lobster for Valentine’s Day where we got to stuff ourselves with spiny Pacific lobster and Veuve Clicquot. It was the perfect Valentine’s Day dinner except for the annoying couple sitting next to us. To be fair, the male part of the couple wasn’t irritating except for his laugh and the fact that he was so weak. His date, with her whiny, loud voice and penchant for obnoxious anecdotes was another story.
Miss Hollywood Assistant thought that she was hot shit. This is the worst kind of assistant—the one who acts like they are famous because they deal with stars. BTW: I don’t have any proof that she was an assistant, but who else would say, "I'm going to call Ryan Seacrest and tell him I ate dinner at the Lobster. He’ll be soo jealous!!!" Yeah, like Ryan Seacrest couldn’t afford to eat there for every meal 7 days a week if he wanted.
MHA’s act was all based on her insecurities. But never say to a man that you want to keep, "I'm going to make it easy for you...I'm going to give you a list of presents I want for Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and any other holiday…" This was said with complete seriousness.
What I really loathe is when people say how they got you the best present for your birthday, etc. but then never give it to you. MHA had a new variation of this. In response to not giving her man a present she said, "I was looking at one of the presents that I was going to get you today and the sales guy was totally flirting with me." That was a nice double whammy. MHA rambled on a bit trying to make her date more jealous, but then gave up, "I guess you’re not the jealous type." Next she cackled for a minute.
I had my knife in my hand and was giving DK a look. How much more annoying could MHA get? Oh, how about reading aloud not once, but twice, the entire dessert list.